2 Sides of Stubborn ... & a Little Secret About Me ;)

OK! Here’s the secret. I hate to admit it…. But …. Perhaps, I’m stubborn.

I have an friend who used to tease me about it. At the time, I just thought HE was the stubborn one – but perhaps he saw something in me that I didn’t. Friends can be good for that outside perspective :) Thanks SKY.

I remember a trip I took, with a different friend, to Greece many years ago. Overall it was gorgeous and amazing, but there were some glitches along the way. In most of those instances, the first answer we got from people was, no we can’t fix this. In every instance, I ignored the No, kept on pushing and managed to change the situation for the better… (do you hear the word stubborn here?!?!)

My friend said, “You should write a book on how not to take NO for an answer” ha!!!

**My theory is that this comes from so many years in the music business – survival often depends on pushing past/ignoring the word NO

Or perhaps….. my pals are right – I’m plain old stubborn ;)

The word stubborn technically means having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so.

Yikes! That’s intense. So… Why is that sometimes a positive trait?

Well, I got us a sweet suite in Athens! AND…… If I did the general math…..

For every publisher/artist who’s passed on a song of mine there’s been one who’s picked up that same song.

When we remain unshakeable as we work towards dreams and goals- it can be an important asset to be Stubborn. Especially, if you are in an occupation where there’s fierce competition or hundreds of different opinions coming at you about what’s ‘right’ or ‘good’. But let’s take a second to look at BOTH sides of the coin.

The Dark Side of Stubborn

It can ruin opportunity, friendships, and our best intentions. We need to realize when being inflexible is shutting down opportunities or creating a lack of compassion for ourselves and others. Take a step back and listen...

Are you hearing the other persons side?

We’ve all seen that stubborn dude/gal who won’t change their mind even in situations where it’s in their best interest. This is when stubborn can be dangerous. It’s self-destructive to be so invested in being RIGHT that you fail to see the myriad of other opinions.

Why bother yielding?

Assess your final goal for the situation. Here’s what I mean…

Recently, a co-writer completely changed elements of a song we wrote and recorded a demo without really consulting me. My feelings were hurt. This is a reminder of why It's important to remain aware when our stubborn affects other people.

More importantly, I had to sort through my creative stubborn vs. the bigger picture which is getting it picked up by a country artist. I write with country people cause I need more experienced input in that genre. Do I still prefer this version? No. But is this rendition perhaps a better fit for the final goal? Yes. So in this instance, It’s important to send my stubborn on hiatus, vacation and out of the building! I think this one is especially hard when our passion and creative voice are on the line. It's all good now, and I think the key was communicating together- seeing all sides instead of only talking to our inner stubborn.

Why stubborn can sometimes be magic…..

Reframe the word "Impossible". Did you know you can break it up in to… I’m Possible!!! Most great things have been accomplished after someone has been told (usually multiple times!) You Can’t Do That – That’s Impossible. However the individual persevered, believed in their vision, ignored the naysayers and got it DONE. Sticking to your vision, listening to your heart, following your dreams at all costs? That’s when Stubborn can be a beautiful thing!!!

I think it’s important to remember that every situation is unique with lots of options. Perhaps the balance is making sure that we’ve taken the time to consider all sides. And keep in mind…

+ We don’t need other peoples permission to follow our hearts.

+ We don’t need to always to be ‘right’.

What do you think?

Love and Light to you!